I'll admit, this and the rest of the chapters (except 8) weren't so bad.
I still hate you, however.
Blood just gushing out the motherfucker, and here I am with an electrical cord trying to tie off the damn artery. You ever be laying by the side of the road covered in another man's blood talking to the cops and your girlfriend breaks up with you? I have.
FUNK brs
@FUNKbrs
Age 43, Male
Misery Merchant
Memphis
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Comments
Woops, forgot to mention why I didn't like Chapter 8
The Caroline character was pissing me off. While she was just annoying to me, I suppose that's a good thing for you, because you successfully give your characters their own personality.
Good luck getting published when you need to.
Asshole.
Caroline's still in an annoying bitch stage. That's pretty much the reaction I was going for: she's still got some maturing to do. At the end of this novel, she'll be completely emotionally dead inside as well as totally mature in her abilities.
BTW, your hate is much appreciated.
You do a good job with dialogue, Funk. I envy that--I've never been able to write dialogue, so my stories naturally are [mostly or wholly] free of it.
It's both a blessing and a curse. It's pretty awesome to be able to have convincing characters, but they kind of have personalities of their own, personalities that I can't necessarily predict when I'm doing my plot outlines.
So I'll be writing dialogue, and a character will say a line that makes sense to me, but the only RESPONSE to that line I can think of that's ...good... won't be what I originally intended, so I have to kind of joke my way out of it before they get into a fight.
Yeah. I know. Sounds crazy, huh? Perfect example is the earlier coke reference Berry makes talking about Timmy doing her hair. Zag fucking HATES coke, and he's SUPPOSED to be Berry's friend. It took me a minute to resolve that. I could have just flaked on it and made Zag not notice.... but then my book would suck.
See?
I only read Chapter 9, but I gotta say this is very good! I started reading and couldn't stop, very intriguing. Good luck with the next Chapter.
I'll try to read the other Chapters now.
TL;DR
This is the only chapter ive read and i want more... mooooooore.*ehem* So where can i find the other eight chapters?
They're all other newsposts. Of all my newsposts, only TWO are not chapters of a novel. The newer stuff is a lot better than the older stuff, of course.
TheSilverGuitar
Holy shit, I just read all the previous chapters out of boredom and intrigue.
Great stuff you got going there.
FUNKbrs
That...
That's awesome. I couldn't ask for a better reaction out of a reader.
It's hard to get people to come try my writing because they assume it's shitty Fanfic nonsense or more just supar randawm intarnet nonsense.
I've COMPLETELY rewritten the first novel about three times already, and it's a lot better in rewrites. The reason why I haven't been chasing a publishing deal is because I want my first trilogy completely encapsulated and congruent before I try and get paid for it. That way my shitty earlier work won't make me look like a bitch to my readers.